"Sweet" Question...

This is a first email from this gentleman. A good effort really, and props on the kind compliment, but probably not the best conversation starters if you ask me. Especially since nothing on my profile mentions me having a chocolate addiction or anything. Not all women are obsessed with chocolate. It usually works better to ask about something mentioned on someone's personal description.  Better luck next time. 

Sent: Friday, 9 September 2011, 08:06 AM 

  Subject: Hey <img src="/emoticons/smile.gif"/>


"Hey you're super beautiful

I'd like to get to know ya better. What's your favorite kind of chocolate? What are your 3 favorite things to do? "

Candidly Arrogant - Part 2

Sent: 8/1/2011 8:25:34 PM (EST)  Subject:hey  Message: um. . .so you're cute and funny? that's not a combo common to the average female i meet. is that me being a mysogynist, or being sweet? you decide! :)   A very nice and normal enough message, but I wasn't interested, so I didn't respond.  Then, I got THIS message....... One day later.  (P.S. This is from the same guy on the Candidly Arrogant post. Same guy, different website.)

Sent:

8/2/2011 8:07:05 PM (EST)

Subject:seriously  

Message: I'm even better in person than in my pictures. . .is that possible? YES! :) seriously though, we could hit it off. You really remind me of Kat Dennings, which is a good good thing. hope you write back! 

If at first you don't succeed.....

----James---------- In Reply To Message Sent: 12/25/2008 10:48:46 PM EST ------------
so what are you doing tomorrow?

would you be interested in lunch?

[I am in Utah for the rest of the month - staying in Provo right now - at this moment]

how was your Christmas?

you have a very interesting profile...

=)

I'd love to get to know you better - what do you think?

--Bandy------------ In Reply To Message Sent: 12/25/2008 10:52:08 PM EST --------------

Thanks, I've got plans tomorrow. Have some friends in town I'm spending some time with. Have a Merry Christmas. :)


----James------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hmmmmmm 
Message: so If you have an opportunity to meet someone who could be "the one" and you feel strongly about it - at least strong enough to meet his person just once in your life (to see if what you hope for and dream about is real).... 

well - what if you didn NOT act upon the opportunity? what if you really didn't try.... what if HEavenly Father was taking some effort to bring you two together and one (or both) disregarded the "window of opportunity"?? 

how would you feel about that, Bandy(I think your friends mention your name on your profile... is your name really  Bandy?) ????

and what if I just sat quietly next to you at church - perhaps sing a song alongside you as we each hold our "half" of the hymnbook.... would meeting you at Church be out of the question? (I fly to Texas on tuesday)

I feel I should be Bold (hopefully not overbearing) - you may not even be "looking" to meet anyone - you may be happy with the Utah guy you just went out on a date with last week. Have you lived lately? Really lived? and how many times do you have an opportunity to DO something "outside the box" of conventional thinking?

I am taking that risk right now (and I haven't even spoken of taking you out for lunch - I'd just love to meet you, Bandy)....

and get to know you better

=) 

what do you think??

~
-----Bandy--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
12/25/2008 11:42:39 PM (EST) printer friendly
Subject:
Re: hmmmmmm
Message: Thanks for taking the risk. I think many do not put themselves out there enough in the dating world. I am very flattered by the compliment of your desire to get to know me, but I'm very sorry, I'm not interested. Best of luck in all your endeavors

thanx... 


------James-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Message: Merry Christmas and thanks for writing back... not interested - eh? Please explain...

And if your name is Bandy Sunset (and you went to school at The University.) - I believe we met in Huntington Beach, Calif.

[then again - I may have you mixed up with another beautiful women]

I still think I may be the man you desire - so if you change your mind and feel like leaving your "comfort zone" for some real, true growth... please let me know... that is IF we have not met.

Happy New Year, Bandy!

=)

~ james

P.S. Perhaps more peeople need to be more open-minded and receptive when others put themselves out there and take risks

;-)

Are you a Mermaid?

Sent:

7/24/2011 1:31:23 PM (EST)

Subject:hello  
Message: are you a mermaid? is your name ariel?

Well, I'm a brunette, so naturally I would be a mermaid named Ariel. ;)

Candidly Arrogant

He has good intentions perhaps, but a little much for a first email don't you think?

" So here's my new strategy on this site. It's not the greatest forum for actually getting a real view of what people are like, and everyone always dances around the important issues, hoping they can avoid enough of them until they're face to face. I'm not into that. So here's me, unvarnished. And here's why I think you wouldn't regret letting me take you out, and seeing where things went:

I'm a 37 year old divorced father of 4. That part has to come out first.

I'm a lawyer, practicing in partnership with my dad in [this city]. We have a great practice, doing mostly family and criminal law, that allows me to work, basically, as little or as much as I want. I make (yeah, I know, this is a little tacky, but let's face it, it's important) a base salary of 120k, but I usually average, after all is said and done, between 150 and 210k per year. Nothing incredible, but very comfortable, especially in [this city].

I live in a very large (6k sq. feet, 7 bedroom) retro (60's) house in a quiet university area.

I am in, candidly, excellent shape for a 37 year old guy. I run, play basketball, and lift, and it shows. Again, that probably sounds, maybe, a little cocky, but hey, it's important.

I have 4 kids, ages 14 (boy), 10 (girl), 7 (boy), and 3 (girl). they are awesome. They are obedient, good kids. they have adjusted well to my divorce, and I think they would be a joy to anyone I was with.

I have an ex-wife with whom I get along well who lives less than a mile away. We share custody of the kids on a week to week basis. I did nothing to cause the divorce, which is personal, but also something people usually want to know. She made choices that forced her out.

Overall, I think I'm a heck of a catch. I hope that comes off as confidence. I'm writing you this massive message because, candidly, you are about the most attractive person I found on this site, which is important, although not the most important thing to me, and because there's really no point in goofing around on here with flirts, etc. I know what I want, and I think most others do to.

Hope to hear back from you "

Handsy Jack

Um, no thank you, that won't be necessary....

Sent:	6/27/2011 3:27:30 AM (EST)  printer friendly
Subject:
Message:	let me rub some sea salt on those fine legs tonight

Unsolicited Advice

I got this email the other day from a guy I have never met in my life, nor had I ever emailed this person online. The only thing he didn't assume is the fact that I said on my profile that I want to make babies one day.  Here is our correspondence. 

Joe Schmoe 
You said something about making babies in your profile. You're a cute girl! and I'm sure that you have had a lot of great guys pursue you over the years whether you want to admit it or not. I think that if you ever want to make babies you should probably get very realistic w/ yourself and get over whatever issue/hang-up has kept you from getting married up to this point. Otherwise I think you should consider getting a few cats. (lets be realistic here, most everyone else finds decent guys, it's hard to believe that it always the guys fault/that there are no decent guys and none of the blame lies w/ you. 


--------------  In Reply To Message Sent:  7/15/2011 4:44:15 AM EST  --------------
ME
Wow, how about pouring some salt in my wounds? You absolutely have no idea who I am or what kind of efforts I've put into dating or heartaches I may have gone through. I have no hang ups about getting married. I never have. There's plenty of guys that I probably would have married had the chance presented itself. I don't see anywhere on my profile where I'm passing the blame to anyone. Sometimes dating just doesn't work out and there's not always someone to blame. I think there are lots of great guys out there but just because you meet great people doesn't automatically mean that things are going to work out with them. I've even met great guys here on [this website] before.
It is very judgemental to make assumptions like that about someone before you even know them.Your message is completely off base and an extremely rude thing to say to a complete stranger!


--------------  In Reply To Message Sent:  7/15/2011 12:06:28 PM EST  --------------
Joe Schmoe
We just see life differently I guess. You said some things dont work out, and I believe in making things work out. You said there are guys you probably would have married given the chance and I believe in creating chances. And as for the efforts you, me and others put into dating, I think we can both agree that there are many people that put a lot of effort into dating but sub-conscientiously sabotage their own efforts. Your message gives the impression that you believe that your single out of bad luck and circumstances. You dont seem to be blaming the men (good for you) but you dont seem to think any of the blame lies w/ you. Let's be honest if so many other women can get married then the problem really has to lay with you whether you want to admit it or not, because "bad luck" does not happen for 10+ years straight. I'm just telling you this because you really are an attractive women and could be married but first I think you need to be honest w/ yourself.


--------------  In Reply To Message Sent:  7/15/2011 12:55:47 PM EST  --------------
ME
VERY differently. Like I said, you have absolutely NO idea who I am or what I'm about.

I never said things haven't worked out because of 'bad luck'. That is absurd. There are usually reasons things don't work out, whether it be timing, disinterest, difference in standards, difference of opinion, whatever. Sometimes we never know why, sometimes we find out later in life. I do believe in making things work, but I do not believe in beating a dead horse. As much as you may want to try to make something work out, you can not control what someone else decides and you can not make someone attracted to you physically or to your personality. Sometimes you just can not make it work.

I never said the blame does not lie with me either. I am fully aware that have flaws just like everyone else. You are really reading too much into someone you know NOTHING about. You don't know how hard I may be on myself for my personal flaws and what I've done to try to over come those things. Dating and life are learning processes and we all learn in different ways and at different times.

You say so many other women have gotten married, but what about the thousands on this website who have not? What about all the women who DO get married and are divorced now. What about you? You are 28 years old and still single? Do you ever listen to our church leaders speak about single women? What about the women that never get a chance to marry in this life? Does that mean there is something wrong with them? MANY people around the world get married later in life or never. It would be wise to learn some charity and compassion for others before making the foolish mistake of placing judgements or false assumptions.

It sounds like you need some more life experience and I really think you should worry more about working on your own problems before you give unsolicited 'advice' to random people you don't know. Pull that beam out of your eye.

I'm not on this website for debates, nor do I need any additional advice. I would appreciate it if you didn't contact me again. 


--------------  In Reply To Message Sent:  7/15/2011 3:27:20 PM EST  --------------
Joe Schmoe
I agree 100% that some women will never get the chance to marry in this life. Many women are never going to attract a man. You don't have this problem. As for me, yeah, Im 28 and single but that's better than 33 and single but I am also divorced which in my opinion is better than never having gotten married. It means that I at least tried. I also admit that I have my hang-ups that have kept me from remarrying, and I take full and complete responsibility. I will not blame timing, or anything else but myself. I could have been married several times over since my divorce if I had wanted to but I have chose not to try and remarry while I was in Law School. 

Look at your reasons things don't work out "timing, disinterest, difference in standards, difference of opinion" What I am saying is: work around the timing, make yourself interested, get over the fact that he's not general authority material or that you don't see eye on even some important issues. But I agree 100% w/ you, that you cannot control someone else. I'm sorry if the most amazing men in your opinion have not been chasing you, try giving the guys that are/have pursued you a chance. In the end, these are not reasons why some is single they are excuses.

And I am not at all saying that the problem is that you don't beat yourself up enough, or that you're not hard enough on yourself. You are probably a great person! I think most people in your situation are single not because they are not awesome people, but because there is an issue under the surface that they don't fully admit: they are afraid of commitment, they cannot emotionally bond w/ others, they are afraid of the idea of being reliant on another person or are selfish and being married requires selflessness, and yes some are just too picky. I hate to break it to women but the quality of guy (and lets be honest there are different qualities) you could have married at 23 is not that quality you can marry at 33 usually, and until getting married is more important than being with a white knight the picky ones (not saying this is you, because I dont know you) are going to stay single. These are the real reasons, not timing. and people just need to get the guts to deal w/ the real issues instead of making excuses.

Now if you dont want to respond that is fine, but dont play the "I'm going to get the last word" game by sending me an email and telling me not to respond. If you dont want to talk about this, you never had to reply.

I never had to reply?  As if I'm NOT going to defend myself when someone makes a direct cut and makes assumptions, putting words into my mouth.  I wonder why his first marriage didn't work out?  If he is this assuming and critical of someone he doesn't even know, how much worse would it be in a relationship with this person? I certainly never want to find out!

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

Is this a compliment or a test of my knowledge?  I'm confused.

Sent:	7/17/2011 3:19:52 PM (EST)  printer friendly
Subject:
Message:	It's really surprising that you are still single since you are so pulchritudinous.

Why thank you....  And yet another person mentioning the fact that I'm still single. Thanks for pointing that out, I hadn't been aware the past 33 years. I've heard the word 'pulchritudinous' twice before in my life...  Once in the first email from this person and then I remembered, once in a funny old Saturday Night Live sketch with Woody Harrelson where he was singing a song called "Pretty Lady" and using various different synonyms for the word pretty to describe a lovely lady he adored.  The fact that I received 2 emails from this person using that same word makes me think I'm getting a copy and paste form sent to all the other girls. A good effort, really, and I do realize this was meant to be a compliment, but even other men I showed this to were confused by it.  I wonder if pulchritudinous has dazzled any other women?  I suppose I'll never know.

Dear Man Baby....

I suggest you save your babysitting money and use it on a psychologist.  This is possibly THE weirdest email I've ever received!

"My name is nick. Iam looking for someone to baby me. I have a diaper fetish and I like being treated like a baby. Getting changed fed etc. I was wondering if you could help me out and be the baby sitter I’ve been looking for. Why I wear diapers. Getting babied brings me the comfort and loving feeling only a motherly figure can bring. It brings me back to a time where I dint have to worry about anything. It will be nothing sexual and it’s a lot of fun. Id be willing to Pay for babysitting services. "


Ummm.... How is this not sexual?  Please get some help Nick!

Why I'm still Single

 I don't know how many times I have been asked the question...."Why are you still single?"   I'm sure many of my cohorts know what I'm talking about when I say this question gets old pretty fast!  Over many, many years of dating we have been subjected to countless pickup lines and come-ons.  Some of the most entertaining dating attempts have come from online dating websites.  For you that can't quite grasp the concept of why someone (other than yourself) might possibly still be single, my friends and myself will give you a peek into some of the reasons that make us head for the hills when approached by certain men.  Here we will post the most bizarre, funny, creepy, off-base, rude and annoying words we hear from men online and elsewhere.  Read 'em, and weep... for humanity.